Phillip Deems

“RECOGNIZE that you have problems, then WANT to solve those problems.  Begin there!  End Here!  Physically, I am feeling fit again.  Personally, I am feeling in control again.”

NOTE:  Yesterday, I wrote a little about my physical Journey To 4.0 and what it took to get to where I am currently.  Today, I would like to write a little bit about my personal journey as it pertains to better relationships on a personal and professional level.

“Why are you so angry today”?  

In the modern world of advertising, stress can become a part of your daily life and as my wife will tell you, it can mentally crush even the most positive person.  Multiple Deadlines, Mass Idea Generation, Producing, Writing, Directing, Presentations, Meetings, Budgets, New Business Development, Management…all are a part of my world on a daily basis.  12 hour days become easy after a while.  But when someone would ask me the BOLD question above…”Why are you so angry”?  My only good answer was “I’m just unbelievably busy…Sorry”.  Like it was my team’s fault for making me busy or something!

After a blow up at work one day, (it was at about the same time I blew up about being out of shape.  Click here for yesterday’s blog) I finally decided that something was out of character for me.  I am inherently NOT an angry person.  I was losing my grip as a Manager.

No More Outbursts

Personally, I knew I could fix this quickly.  Just like my physical journey that had just started, I made a promise to myself to start my journey toward a healthier demeanor that would ultimately lead back to healthier relationships.  So, just like everything else, I wrote it down and aggressively pursued my 10 goals on my Journey To 4.0.  (The following is in a random order)

1. When you start to feel angry, acknowledge that your angry.  Then quickly count to 3, breath and move on with the conversation at hand.  If you still feel angry, leave the room for a couple of minutes.  Come back and continue.
2. Spend more time with my wife.
3. Mentally leave work at work.
4. Any situation left unresolved can wait until the morning time.  Unless it is a complete emergency, leave it alone.
5. Make more time for your friends and family.
6. Make sure to respect your employees.  Let them be creative.
7. Have fun at work.
8. Actually take all of your vacation time.
9. Put every situation into perspective.  One question…am I or is someone else going to die over this situation?
10. SMILE

They Say It Can’t Be Done…They Are The Crazy Ones!

I can honestly say, without going into too many details, it worked.  My anger and frustration is no longer a problem and all though I still have a great deal to work on…there is an obvious difference in my demeanor from one year ago.

I wrote it down and aggressively pursued it.  I feel closer to my wife, my friends and my family.  I feel closer to my team members at work and I definitely feel better as a human being.  I will never stop striving for better and have already started plotting this year’s goals.

“RECOGNIZE that you have problems, then WANT to solve those problems.  Begin there!  End Here!  Physically, I am feeling fit again.  Personally, I am feeling in control again.”

4.0 means the new version of me…what does 4.0 mean to you?

“We need to work out”, says my beautiful wife.

It was a statement that changed my life.  The harmless, well-meaning comment caused me to lose my mind.  I immediately became argumentative and defensive.  At the time, I thought I was justified in being offended at the statement.  But after further reflection, I found out that there was more to my discomfort than just the words that came out of Angela’s mouth.  I was unhappy…unhappy with myself.  That one memorable moment was the spark that fueled the fire.  And although it started as a fire that was out of control…it ended in a controlled burn that still acts as a catalyst within me to this day.

It Starts With A Fighter’s Mentality

Being a fighter, training with fighters growing up and all the way through my early 20′s taught me many things…but the one thing that stuck with me after all of those years was that 90 percent of what you do is mental.  The mental game is just as, if not more important as your physical game and anyone who understood the Fighter’s Mentality overcame ANY situation.  Losing could be overcome…Challenges could be overcome…Life could be conquered, but only if you thought like a fighter.

This is where I started!  I focused mentally on success and in the beginning it was an obsession.  I was going to start a personal journey to becoming the best human being that I could become.  A strong, healthy body…a strong personal relationship with my wife and strong personal relationships with my family.  I had a new goal and strengthening my mind was the first way I knew how to guarantee success.

Let’s Start With Physical Health.  I Wrote It Down…I Kept It Simple.

If you do not obtain what you want in life, you have no one else to blame but yourself!  I continue to tell myself this everyday.  But a major reason why things fail is because of poor planning and poor execution.  So, knowing that my time was limited, I came up with a plan that was simple for me to enact.   For example, when it came to working out, I knew I would never go to a gym every night when I pull 12 hour work days every day.  With this in mind, I set up the gym as my garage, planned a 30 minute work out, WROTE IT DOWN in my phone as a calendar appointment and then made it a part of my daily routine.  I even cut 30 minutes out of my work day and made it a part of my work hours so to speak.  I made it obtainable from day one!

It Worked!

I started seeing results almost immediately.  I believe I hit my initial goal by the 3rd month of working out, but I did not stop there.  12 months later, I have obtained everything I set forth to obtain.

1. Lose Weight – I was not too overweight, but I did have a little more around the middle than I should have.  My waistline is down from 33 inches to 29 inches.  I lost 20 pounds going from 185 to 165.
2. Gain Muscle - I am very proud of the fat loss and muscle gains.  I have not been this lean since I was 23 years old.  I am very shy about pictures, but I will leave one in this blog post that gives everyone an example of what I have accomplished at the ripe old age of 40.
3. Obtain Natural Energy - Although I am naturally hyper, I was having problems with my energy levels fluctuating dramatically.  I needed coffee and stimulants throughout the day.  I no longer need the pick me ups.  I do like my coffee, but I don’t NEED it now.  I have also, in the later stages of my journey, taken myself off the over-the-counter sleep medication that I was on.
4. Feel Better – Simply put, I do not feel uncomfortable anymore.  I breathe better, sit better, move better…everything is better now.  There is no substitute for being physically healthy.

I Am Happy!

I can’t say that I was unhappy with everyone else in my life.  I have, for most of my life, been surrounded by very supportive family and friends.  It was a personal problem that I was having and it started with the man in the mirror for lack of a better cliché.  I am happy with myself again and I would like to start helping others with their journey.

Today’s blog focuses on my physical Journey To 4.0 and although I will still be working out everyday for the rest of my life (I have actually set new goals for this year), much of my journey was centered around personal relationships, professional goals and much more.  I accomplished everything on my list.

So tomorrow, I am going to talk a little bit about how my personal relationships have blossomed and what goals helped me get there.  Thanks for reading and I would love to help you reach any goals you would like to obtain.

Contact me at phillipdeems@gmail.com and let’s discuss your journey.

Carmela’s, Longwood

Not When You Are At Carmela’s

As I walked out of the door of Carmela’s, 2 BIG (Grandma’s) PIZZA PIES in hand, something very clumsy happened.  I literally clipped the door with the pizza box and dropped both pizza’s on the ground.  It felt like it was in slow motion as I tried grabbing one, then the other.  They both hit the ground!  One face down and the other face up, both mangled.

I Hope No One Saw That!

Well, a couple of people did see it.  How embarrassing, right?  Luckily it was the hostess and another one of the employees that saw me stumble and fumble through the debacle, because they both ran to my rescue.  Once they got over to me, they could tell I was totally uncomfortable and red-faced.  The one very kind hostess quickly told me to not worry about it.  I said I think they are okay and tried to start putting the pizza back together like a puzzle piece.  Honestly, it look like a crime scene inside of the pizza box, but as to not put them out any money, I told them the pizzas would make it home okay.

They Would Not Have That!

They took the fumbled pizza boxes, quickly put another order in for me, then proceeded to get me something to drink as I waited…for my troubles.  My troubles?  I am the clumsy one who dropped both savory pizzas.  I should have been charged with some crime, but instead they were so helpful and kind that they went above and beyond to make sure I was taken care of.

Thank You Carmela’s…

…for reinstating my faith in GREAT CUSTOMER SERVICE.  You not only helped me not feel completely stupid, you solved my problem in seconds.  This is how you do it folks.  If you have a business and you are not putting the customer first, you will get swallowed up by companies that do.

Why Is This Such A Big Deal?

Carmela’s will now…because of that one moment…get my business on a regular basis (this even with the fact I don’t eat italian very often).  I will also make it my mission to put together a marketing campaign for them on my own time that I will give them if they allow it.  AAAAAND…I am going to hold several nights of meet ups with a large number of friends and colleagues at their establishment.  I feel I owe them for CARING!

So, please like their Facebook page (click here) and see you soon Carmela’s.  I hope you have room for a rabid, loyal fan.

Signed, Clumsy Dude

“Would you run from or run toward?  If not during how about after”?

There is nothing good about tragic situations, especially where loss of life is concerned.  The only thing we can do as human beings is to try to move on and learn from observation.

We can only sympathize…

If the tragedy has closely affected you, NO ONE can tell you how to feel or how to recover.  Each individual will have to go through that on their own.  Please know that you must move on and acknowledge the fact that there are people out there who will listen.

We can only learn…

If a tragedy has not affected us personally when it comes to family and friends…we must still pay attention.  Take a look at what has happened, how it happened and most importantly how you can help.

Then, think about what you would be going through if tragedy struck you in the same manner.

Wouldn’t you want help?

Let’s all get out and help…Find STRENGTH within yourself to break your daily habit and reach out.  There is no kind gesture that is too small.

I choose to run toward.

…am a WORKAHOLIC! There, I said it, and officially admitting is the first step…But now I ask myself “the first step to what”?

Should I Be Looking For A Support Buddy Or Something?
I mean, is this a serious problem? Advancing my career knowledge on a daily basis, working on new idea application, thinking of new approaches to creative development, planning next financial steps everyday and more.

It’s At The Expense Of No One
…except me? Right? Or is this denial of the fact that working too much can be detrimental to your health. Well, I’ve never been more mentally and physically fit in my life…hmmmmm?

Maybe There Is Something To This Disease
Here is what I have assessed about my workaholic tendencies as I have taken this Journey To 4.0…It is a piece of the pie that makes up my purpose in life. I can not change it and believe me I have tried! I enjoy getting better at something career related everyday. It is in my DNA and as long as it is not harming the ones I love and those who love me. SO BE IT!

Hi, I’m Phillip And I Am A Workaholic
If admitting it is my only step toward recovery, then I will be just fine.

Everyone Has Character Flaws

I myself have many!  But, on my Journey To 4.0, I have assessed my character A LOT.  In doing this, I have found out that I had some insecurities that needed to be addressed.  Nothing major, but they could have been seen as weaknesses in some circles of my life.

1. I found out I did not take criticism very well.  Now this is a double-edged insecurity, meaning that when a constructive criticism came my way, I was fine with it…But if you lead with an “I don’t like it” or a “That sucks” and did not have a good reason why, I did not handle it very well.  But, after working on improving this character flaw, I found out that criticism in that form happens a great deal due to the criticizer’s own insecurities.  That really helped me deal with situations like this in a much more reasonable way.  I now start the internal dialogue when criticisms come my way.  It sounds something like this…“Wow, that was a rough critique with no reasoning behind it…and they were a little negative about it.  Oh well, maybe they are just having a bad day.”  Then I move on to my next creative venture.  Nuff Said!!!!
2. I question my abilities on a daily basis.  I tend to be a perfectionist and when I do not meet my own high standards, I feel let down.  The remedy, give everything I do the normal extra effort and attention to detail…when I have completed the task, I give myself a quick pat on the back then assess what worked, didn’t work, then move on.  But, when I move on, know that my success has been earned and my peers respect me.  Nuff Said!!!!

I am still assessing every aspect of my life and when I now find insecurities, I handle them immediately.  This means having your own internal dialogue prepared when you recognize yourself being defensive, agitated, angry or sad about something that did not go perfectly.  Define the flaw, recognize it when it occurs and use the internal dialogue as your solution.  You will eventually not have to worry about the insecurity due to the fact it has gone away.  Your problem will be solved.

Insecurity can be a disease and if you don’t try to cure it, IT WILL bring you down…figuratively and literally.  Take the Journey with me and if you need help getting started, just ask!

Taking a look back at the past year has been exciting for me.  Why?  Because I have been working my ass off to be a better person…a better person to my wife, my family, my friends and ultimately to myself.  My Journey To 4.0 is coming to a close…May 6th is just weeks away.

Where Shall I Start?

Let’s start with what I have learned about my personal life.  I am a LUCKY GUY!  Here’s 5 things that sum it up for me.

1. I have the greatest wife in the world.  I truly don’t deserve someone so wonderful, but I can honestly say she makes me better at everything.
2. I have the greatest family in the world.  Good luck trying to top my family…seriously.  THE BEST.
3. I have the greatest friends in the world.  I am surrounded by so many talented, caring and beautiful people.
4. I have everything I will ever need.  All of the wealth in the world could not give me more.
5. I would be crippled without 3 of the above.  I do not exist without my wife, my family and my friends…I can do without my material things!

Where Shall I Continue?

Let’s look at my professional life.  After scrutiny, here are 5 things I learned about myself when it comes to my career.

1. I am very competitive.  Although I assumed this, it wasn’t made clear to me just how competitive until I assessed my professional habits.  Whoa…whether this is a good or a bad thing remains to be seen.
2. I am loyal to my job.  I can say whatever I want about my career, but the moment you say anything bad about my company or my team…I go into proud papa mode.  I will defend them until they don’t exist anymore.
3. I have a “I Like To Work” problem.  If I am not working on something productive…I get uncomfortable!  This, I have deduced, is a problem.  I need to learn how and when to shut it off.
4. I needed to calm down as a boss.  Not everyone wants to work all the time like myself and that is a good thing.  So, I re-adjusted my outlook on management and am very happy to say that I am already seeing better results from our team.
5. I LOVE WHAT I DO!  It is not a job to me.

…And Finally.

Let’s look at my health.  I have never felt better.  Here are 5 assessments of my health!

1. I am eating better…AND LESS.  This is a simple path that has helped me maintain a healthy weight.  It really is that simple.
2. I am working out 6 days a week.  Although it sounded difficult at first, I managed to make it happen for the past year due to the fact that I have made it a part of my daily chores.  I go to work for 12 1/2 hours every day…30 minutes of which is spent in our home gym working out.  If I try to make an excuse to not work out, I change into my workout clothes anyway.  Then I feel compelled to work out.  It really is that simple.
3. I am not neglecting myself of the little pleasures.  I have an occasional drink, an occasional sweet treat and an occasional culinary delight…but that is limited to about once a week.  No sodas, limited amounts of sugar, the rare fried food item, hardly any red meat and alcohol in small amounts has helped me become the healthiest I have ever been.  Even with 20+ years of high level athletics under my belt.  It really is that simple.
4. My mental health is better.  Stress has been a major part of my life since I started my career.  At times it has almost sent me over the edge.  But not any more.  I am controlling every part of my health and this has been what I consider to be one of my finest achievements over the past year.  Emotional control and stability.  Can I get stronger mentally?  Yep, and I will continue to strengthen my mind through practice, study and evaluation.
5. I am not stopping at 40.  Although my journey was based on the new me or 4.0 (four point oh), I have found that I want to continue this new lifestyle.  I want to set new goals and achieve more in all areas of my life, mainly my health.

Please understand why I have taken this journey.  Although it is an assessment of a BETTER ME, as narcissistic as that may sound, I ultimately want it to translate into a BETTER YOU.  If I can do it, I SURE KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.

Join me and start taking your own Journey.  Ask me how and I will help.

The Superman Briefs Are Awesome!

You have your favorite pair or your favorite type of underwear.  Don’t lie…you know the type that is very supportive, right!  Well, a nice supportive pair of underwear gets the job done.  What about the non-supportive underwear?

The “Auto NO” Underwear.

These are my favorite types of non-supportive underwear.  These non-supportive briefs say “NO” without giving some thought as to how an idea can improve the process of making money, or improve the process of getting others excited or empowered… We have all had a pair of these annoying drawer space hogs.  They are the holes in your favorite boxer briefs…the stretched out elastic that forces your undies to fall off.

Don’t let the Automatic “No” get in the way of your vision of success.  If you have an approach or an idea that you can prove will improve things, buy a pair of brand new underwear that  will help you support that idea.

The It’s Never Good Enough Pair Of Panties.

This pair of underwear may be brand new and they look very supportive, but in the grand scheme of things you can never clean them up…they are soiled and stained.  (Sorry for the visual, but you get it)  So, after you try to clean the stains a couple of times and they still don’t come out, you would normally get rid of them.  It just makes sense to get a pair that is not only supportive, but stain free.  Right?

Enough underwear analogies for today!  But, you understand the theory…A great pair of underwear can be very supportive, holds things in place and allows you to feel confident in the fact that if you get caught with your pants down, everything will be okay!

My Journey To 4.0 has helped me observe personality flaws from an outside perspective and…

…at some point you have to stop kidding yourself!  You have to know when to fix something.  What are the signs that “IT” is a problem?

1. IT gets in the way of progress.
2. IT goes against your TRUE personality.
3. IT comes between you and a loved one.
4. IT is no longer an occasional occurrence.
5. IT is causing issues that are beyond normal.

Once you KNOW!  You ACKNOWLEDGE!  Acknowledgment goes beyond just recognizing a problem…it literally means you have pin pointed something that needs to be fixed immediately.  Say it out loud!

Now that you have acknowledged the problem take ACTION!  Fix it immediately…seek your friends and families help if you have to, but ACT!  Although it may be a small problem now, it can definitely grow into a large problem in the future.

This does not mean you are weak, it means quite the opposite.  You have to be tough enough to sometimes stand up to yourself.  Don’t let problems get out of control.  Know, Acknowledge…Then Act!

I am in the final stages of my Journey to 4.0 and I am proud to be taking some final steps toward a better me!  Join me and take your own journey to personal development.  You won’t regret it.